I am a mom Write now!

     I am currently sitting at a desk situated in the corner of my parent's den that I have more or less commandeered as my own personal work space, though I do share it with my 7 year old niece. To my right is my story/inspiration board, a cork board spotted with images, quotes, and drawings that I found via Pinterest, my mother's magazines, and my own personal creations. On my lap, Knight, my 2 month old son, is half-napping half-nursing. I've been writing prior to this entry and, ultimately, feeling quite happy. I am not a particularly fast typer, and the one arm typing thing is really challenging, and yet I have been having fun.
     It is amazing to me how wonderful life is. I am sort of standing back in awe of it all. Most recently I became a mom, and from how people talk about parenthood (and particularly how a first time pregnant soon-to-be mama's interprets that talk), sometimes I am rattled, afraid that some part of myself will need to sacrificed due to this new role. I have so far been pleasantly surprised by the fact that it is still me who I see in the mirror. I do not feel like a stranger to myself rather I feel a deeper connection to my truest self and to my parents... and to mothers... and to anyone who is or ever was a child. It's beautiful!
     I do not think that becoming a parent has taken anything from me. It has only added to my identity (but not in the way that a money paying job, a hairstyle, or an institutionalized education certificate does) in the sense that personal experience (whether good or bad) grows us. Growth is the most natural human experience. That is what we do everyday in subtle ways or big ways. Sometimes we are aware of it, other times we aren't. Isn't that enough to put us in awe of LIFE. (Okay, so I'm on a writer's high Write now! -ah, see what I did there?)
     I am particularly happy today, because it is days like today that teach me that I am not handicapped by this mom thing. And though I am not in La La Land and know that there will be days that I will not be able to write a whole lot because of Knight's needs and any of the other things that can make it difficult, I truly feel like that is alright. I know that watching my son grow and develop is just as rewarding, if not more so, than putting words on a page. More so I feel quite excited to accept the challenge of doing what makes me happy while simultaneously engaging with this awesome being that I have been gifted.
     When Matt and I were flying to China, I came across a truly brilliant, insightful, and beautiful passage titled 'On Children'. As I read it, I thought this is so true, and simultaneously believed that they would be incredibly challenging words to live by and to remember. In 2 short months, that challenge is already becoming a reality. One that makes the challenge of writing with a baby on my lap seem pretty easy to tackle. At very least, it is food for thought that is worth sharing. Give it a read!