On the cusp of the New Year of 2010-11, I graduated from college with a Bachelors of Arts in English. I was engaged to my boyfriend of six years in February and married in October, honeymooning in Ireland in November, and moved out of California and into Oregon directly after the honeymoon. December is flying by as quickly as the rest of 2011, and I am feeling a little more lost as the New Year approaches. I have started to realize just how different my life is going to be in 2012. I have had it easy up until now and have always overly romanticized my future by thinking that future Maddy will have figured it all out. Well, my future is now and I still have NOT figured it all out.
In the past, I could resolve any panic attack by the thought that it will all work itself out eventually. I freaked out about college; The solution: I got into college. I freaked about picking a degree; The solution: I chose English. I freaked out about wedding expenses; The solution: It was awesome and worth it.
Now I am 23, married, wanting to start a new life and new family, and I am unemployed in a completely different place. My job search proves frustrating as I am under qualified even with a college degree. I have even began applying for coffee shop jobs because that is where I have experience.
I haven't found the next solution, which I hope will be a real career and not another coffee job (but work is work). I know that the worst thing to do is nothing. I don't have a job, but I do have a bag full of thank you cards to write and send out, I have a good book series, I have an amazing husband, I have craigslist and indeed.com to constantly scan through, and my notebook to write and draw in, which is actually sort of how this blog was born. I still can be me.
I have blamed my shortcomings on my parents for making it too easy, my college degree for being useless, myself for not loving mathematics over language, the zodiac and the stars that I was born under, my husband for not being upset at my unemployment and loving me all the same no matter what, and 10 year old me for thinking that I would figure it out by now.
I have to get over the fact that it is not so easy anymore. I want to be optimistic like 10 year old me and know that it will all work out eventually. So this year I would like to create a resolution that moves me toward the future me that I know I can be, with a career and a family, but I also want an easy-peezy resolution that I have to be proud of in case my first one does not pan out.
Resolution 1- to apply for at least one job everyday.
Resolution 2- growing my hair out
